I believe that all Christians want to know the will of God for their lives, because knowing the will of God enables us to please Him in every aspect of our lives by making wise decisions that are in line with His will. We all want to know the will of God concerning major decisions we need to make, such as the career we should pursue, the place where we should live and the person we should marry.

But how do we know the will of God? Much of God’s will is revealed in His written word, the Bible, including His basic will in marriage. But how do we discern God’s will?

When I first came to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, one of the first biblical principles I learned from our senior pastor was that Christians must be fully submitted to the will of God when it comes to the person they should marry. I later found out that the very reason why he kept talking about God’s basic will in marriage is because many members of the congregation have been marrying unbelievers.

Below is an excerpt of one of the messages our senior minister recently gave about God’s basic will in marriage.

God’s Basic Will in Marriage

By: Rev. Moses R. Chungalao,
President and Senior Minister of FBCFI

When God formed the man from the dust of the ground, He planted the Garden of Eden and put the man there to work and take care of it (Genesis 2:7-8; Genesis 2:15). The man was alone working the garden in full obedience to God, he did not lack anything but was fully contented and happy. He would not think of anything he needed in that paradise garden because his only concern was to work and please God; to love and obey Him with all his heart and mind and soul.

Man’s Need of a Helper

But while the man was alone in the garden, God saw his need of a helper (Genesis 2:18). It’s very important to note that it was not the man who recognize his need and asked. It was God who saw the man’s need of a helper to fulfill the command of God for him to multiply and increase in number, to fill the earth (Gen. 1:28) and build God’s natural kingdom on earth.

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs… Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:21-22). The reason God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep was for him to have no awareness and have no choice in what God was doing to make a helper for him.

God’s Choice, Not Man’s

Adam had no choice when God took his rib and made it into a woman to be his helper. And when God made the woman out of the man’s rib, even the woman had no choice as to the purpose of God. It is written, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib … and He brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:21-22).

God did not give any choice to the woman to go show herself to the man if he would like her, and if she would like him. The man and the woman were not given any choice by God. When God took the woman and brought her to the man, the man simply had no choice but to take her and said, “This s now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man” (Genesis 2:23).

The man accepted that the woman is part of his bones and flesh, his body. And God commanded, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Becoming one flesh means the man and woman that God has put together as husband and wife become inseparable. Even Jesus said that divorce is not lawful and it is not the will of God (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11-12).

Divorce, Not God’s Will

He who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:4-10). When God gives a woman to a man to be his wife, their relationship as one flesh supersedes their relationship to their father and mother or parents.

That is how much higher and important the relationship of a husband and wife becomes than to their parents, except to God whom everyone must love foremost with all their heart, with all their soul, with all their mind and with all their strength (Matthew 22:37; Luke 10:27).

When a wife is God’s choice, and vice versa, God will work out their relationship very compatibly and they will live happily because it is God who works all thing for good unto them who love God and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Even after Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating the forbidden fruit and man started to suffer the curse of God, the life span of man was only reduced to less than a thousand years. Adam lived 930 yrs and died, Seth lived 912 years, Enosh lived 905 years, Kenan lived 910 years, Mahalalel 895 yrs, Jared 962 years, and Methuselah 969 years (Genesis 5:5-27).

Exercising Self-will

In Genesis 6, it is written that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful “and they married any of them that they chose” (Genesis 6:2). The sons of God began to exercise self-will and made their own choice whom to marry, and the basis of their choice was beauty, no longer the choice of God. So God said,”My Spirit will not contend (or quarrel) with man forever…his days will be a hundred and twenty years” (Genesis 6:3).

As a result, God reduced the life span of man. When God saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, “and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time (about whom to marry and self-will), the Lord was grieved that He had made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain. So God said,”I will wipe mankind…from the face of the earth…for I am grieved that I have made them” (Genesis 6:5-7).

So God caused the flood of the whole earth in Noah’s time and destroyed every life except Noah and his sons and their wives, all because of man’s violating the basic divine principle of God in marriage, and that is what preoccupies the thoughts and hearts of men even until now.

Jesus warned that the end time be the same as in the days of Noah. People will be eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage until the flood came and took them all away (Matthew 24:37-39). This will be one of the things that will be judged when Jesus comes not very long from now.

Conclusion

Marriage was ordained by God Himself. It was God’s will that a man and a woman become one in marriage and God intended marriage for life (Romans 7:1-3, 1 Corinthians 7:39). God’s people must never compromise God’s will on marriage. No one has the right to change God’s requirements.

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Recommended Resource: Mutual by Design: A Better Model of Christian Marriage
By Elizabeth Beyer

At the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female. Because of this, a man should leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife, and the two will be one flesh.” So they are no longer two but one flesh. (Mark 10:6-8, CEB)

Marriage. It’s been around for millennia, so what more can be said that hasn’t already been said? Many books on Christian marriage have been written, but most assume that the Bible puts men in a leadership role, while women are to be submissive. But there’s a better way. Not only is it healthier for families, but it’s more faithful to the Bible. The Bible casts a vision of marriage where men and women co-lead and co-serve as equal partners. This book explores that vision.

This book is for those considering marriage, those already engaged, newlyweds, and any couple seeking to improve their relationship. Written for both individual couples or groups, chapters include discussion questions, exercises, and suggestions for further reading.