Relationships Take Work—Even With God: Building A Real Relationship With Your Heavenly Father

Have you ever had a relationship that just seemed to fall apart because one or both people stopped trying? Maybe it was a friendship, a family connection, or even a marriage.

The truth is, all relationships require intentional effort—even our relationship with God. Just like we wouldn’t expect a human relationship to flourish without communication, time, or commitment, we can’t expect our relationship with God to thrive if we only give Him our leftovers.

God is not looking for a weekend visit; He’s seeking a daily walk. And just like in any relationship, the depth of our connection with Him is directly tied to how much time, humility, and sacrifice we are willing to invest.

God Chose Us First—But We Must Respond

“Having predestined us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.” — Ephesians 1:5

God, in His goodness and sovereignty, chose to adopt us as His children through Jesus Christ. This invitation is extended to everyone—but like any invitation, it must be accepted. God does not force a relationship on anyone. He respects our free will.

John 1:12 says, “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”

That’s a personal choice. We each must decide: Do I want to walk with God, or do I want to go my own way?

Sadly, many people choose a life of rebellion, aligning themselves with sin and the enemy of their souls rather than embracing the grace offered through Christ. But for those of us who have chosen to follow Jesus, the question becomes:

Are we living like we are in a relationship with God?

Relationships Require Work and Fruitfulness

“…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” — Philippians 2:12b-13

Once we enter into a relationship with God, it doesn’t end there. It’s not a “set it and forget it” kind of deal. Paul tells us to “work out” our salvation.

This doesn’t mean we earn salvation—it’s a gift—but we are called to actively grow, obey, and live in a way that reflects that salvation.

The fruit of our lives will tell the truth about the condition of our hearts.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…” — Galatians 5:22-23

Are those fruits growing in your life? If not, it may be time to evaluate how much space God really has in your day-to-day routine.

It Takes Two to Tango—Even With God

We’ve all heard the phrase, “It takes two to tango.”

That applies to our relationship with the Lord too. He has already taken the first step—many steps, actually—through creation, redemption, and His daily presence via the Holy Spirit. But He doesn’t force us to dance.

Unfortunately, some people expect a relationship with God without investing anything. They may go to church occasionally, say a quick prayer when in trouble, or assume their belief is enough without transformation. But God desires daily surrender, obedience, and love.

We cannot buy God’s favor, just like we shouldn’t try to buy people’s affection. A healthy relationship isn’t based on manipulation or selfishness—it’s grounded in humility and mutual commitment.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” — James 4:8a

God doesn’t bribe us into loving Him. He wants a real, genuine connection that comes from the heart.

Real Love Is Sacrificial

Jesus modeled the greatest form of love:

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” — John 15:13

True love requires sacrifice.

In our human relationships and especially in our walk with God, love often looks like giving up comfort, pride, or selfish desires for the sake of the other.

We ask ourselves: How many people would I be willing to die for? Probably not many. Yet Jesus chose to die for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). That’s love in action.

God doesn’t demand our love as a condition for His. He loves us regardless. But He invites us to respond with our whole hearts.

Don’t Settle for a Sunday-Only Relationship

One of the greatest lies we can believe is that attending church once a week is enough. While corporate worship is important, it’s not a substitute for daily relationship.

You wouldn’t expect your marriage to thrive if you only spoke to your spouse once a week. Why would our relationship with God be any different?

“If you love me, keep my commandments.” — John 14:15

Love leads to obedience, and obedience flows from time spent in God’s presence.

Broken Relationships Reflect Our Fallen World—But God Redeems

The brokenness we see in the world today—from sky-high divorce rates to fatherlessness to the tragedy of abortion—is evidence that relationships are hard and many are unwilling to do the work.

“Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction…” — James 1:27b

God calls His people to love the unloved, to step into broken places and reflect His faithful character. Relationships are not about what we can get but what we can give.

If our relationship with God is real, it will overflow into how we love others.

Conclusion: Are You Investing in Your Relationship With God?

If we’re honest, many of us treat our relationship with God as optional or secondary. But God calls us to daily, intentional, humble love.

Ask yourself:

• Am I giving God my time and attention each day?
• Do I reflect the fruit of the Spirit in my life?
• Do I love God enough to obey Him, even when it’s hard?
• Am I committed to growing in my relationship with Him?

Relationships take work. They don’t grow automatically.

But the beauty of a relationship with God is this: He supplies the strength, grace, and love we need to keep going. He just asks us to show up, seek Him, and say yes each day.

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