What did Jesus teach about marriage? In Matthew 19:3-12 where the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus about marriage, divorce and remarriage, Jesus went all the way back to Genesis instead of beginning with the laws in Deuteronomy. By doing so, Jesus reminded His listeners (and the readers today) of the true characteristics of marriage as described in the original Edenic Law.
From the first marriage that God established, we learn positively what He had in mind for a man and a woman. If a marriage is built after God’s ideal pattern, the couple will not have to worry about divorce laws. Below are the principles that Jesus taught about marriage.
Marriage is a Divinely Appointed Union.
God designed marriage, which means He knows best how it should operate. God alone can control its character and laws. No court of law can change that which God has established.
Since God designed marriage, it takes three to make a good marriage: God, the husband, and the wife. Steve J. Cole puts it this way: “Marriage is described as a triangle with God at the top. The closer each partner moves to God, the closer they move toward each other. And the further each moves from God, the further they move from each other.”
This truth is illustrated in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. They did not only experience alienation from God as a result of their disobedience, they also experienced alienation from each other. When God confronted them, Adam began to blame Eve (Genesis 3:11-12).
*Related Article: What is the Will of God in Marriage?
Marriage is a Physical Union.
Jesus says that when a man gets married, he shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And as a result, they are no longer two but one flesh (Matthew 19:5). The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity which is not divisible, God also intended it to be with marriage. Married couples are no longer two entities, but now there is one entity.
The “one flesh” union between the husband and wife is the fruit of more than just companionship or partnership; it is the expression of oneness found when two bodies are fused in perfect union – the deepest expression of intimacy.
And that is why in the marriage relationship, the Bible says that the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does (1 Corinthians 7:4).
While husband and wife should be of one mind and heart, the basic union in marriage is physical. Because if a man and woman were just to become “one spirit” in marriage, then death would not dissolve the marriage as it says in 1 Corinthians 7:39, for the spirit, never dies.
So even if the couple disagrees, are “incompatible,” and do not get along, they are still married, for the union is physical.
Marriage is a Permanent Union.
God’s original design for marriage was for one man and one woman to spend one life together; no man should separate them because they were joined together by God (Matthew 19:6). God says nothing about trial marriages or divorce in His original law. Rather, God’s law requires that the husband and wife enter into marriage without reservations.
Our Lord’s teaching is that Scripture has only one basis for divorce, and that is sexual sin. If two people are divorced on any other basis and marry other mates, they are committing adultery (Matthew 19:9).
However, it is important to note that the Lord Jesus did not teach that the offended mate had to get a divorce. Certainly, forgiveness, patient healing and a restoration of the broken relationship are possible. This must be the Christian approach to the problem.
Sad to say, because of the hardness of our hearts, oftentimes healing the wounds and saving the marriage becomes impossible (Matthew 19:8). For Christian couples, divorce should be the final option, not the first option.
Read here: What is the Biblical view of Divorce and Remarriage?
Marriage is a Union between One Man and One Woman.
Genesis 1:26-27 gives us an account of God’s creation of man. It says that God created man in His image and likeness and He created them male and female. The LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground (Genesis 2:7) and made a woman out of one of the man’s ribs (Genesis 2:21-22).
God did not create two men, two women, two men and one woman or two women and one man. This tells us that gay marriages, group marriages, and other variations are contrary to the will of God, regardless of what some psychologists and jurists may say. God’s original design for marriage is between one man and one woman only.
Marriage Makes Possible the Continuation of the Human Race.
God’s mandate to the first married couple was, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). From the beginning, God commanded that sex be practiced in the commitment of marriage. Outside of marriage, sex becomes a destructive force; but within the loving commitment of marriage, sex can be creative and constructive.
What about those couples who do not wish to have children? While Scriptures tell us to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28) and that children are a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3), there is no specific verse in the Bible that says every single Christian couple must have children.
And if it’s a sin for couples to not want to have children, what about those who are unable to have children? God does not expect all of us to have children. Although in general, bearing children in the context of marriage is the biblical norm, nowhere in the Bible did God condemn an infertile couple or those who chose to not have children.
Conclusion
In closing, let me just say that happy marriages are not accidents. They are the result of love, commitment, sacrifice, mutual understanding and hard work. If a married couple is fulfilling their marriage vows, they will surely enjoy a growing relationship that will satisfy them and keep them true to each other.
For those who are seeking a spouse, you are to seek for one who believes from the heart the scriptural truth of marriage and who is committed to live it out in all its implications, especially as regards divorce and remarriage.
If you are already married, you are to pursue your important calling of faithfully showing forth the beautiful mystery of the everlasting union and communion between Christ and His church.
Recommended Resource: The Meaning of Marriage, eBook
By Timothy Keller
Are you and your spouse struggling to keep your marriage alive? You’ll welcome Pastor Keller’s wise insights about love and commitment. Drawing from his sermons, he frankly discusses difficulties couples experience and shows how God’s Word can provide a blueprint for a healthy, loving, and lifelong relationship.
An e-book that is perfect for couples, those preparing for marriage, pastors, and counselors.
Thank you for speaking the truth.
You are most welcome and thank you for dropping by.
God bless!
One of the first mentions of “wife” in the Bible. No mention that it’s wrong.
If you don’t approve this comment, you might be going against God and the Bible.
Genesis 16:3
New International Version
So after Abram had been living in Canaan for ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife.
Again, if having more than 1 wife is God’s original design on marriage, why didn’t He give the first man, Adam, more than 1 Eves?
It’s unfortunate that people use the Bible to justify wrong-doings. If you wish to marry more than 1 woman, go ahead. But please, do not pervert God’s Word to convince yourself that your actions are okay.
Bible says God gave David multiple wives so, being married to more than one can’t be wrong, right?
2 Samuel 12:8, KJV
And I gave thee thy master’s house, and thy master’s wives into thy bosom,…
Here’s the thing … just because it was recorded in the Bible does not mean God approved of it. Thus, we cannot use historical narratives to establish doctrines.
By the way, if it was God’s original; design for man to have multiple wives, why didn’t He give Adam more than one wife?
We cannot just cherry-pick verses to justify committing sin.
G-Fresh,
You’re correct when you say, “Bible says God gave David multiple wives…” quoting 2 Samuel 12:8 KJV.
However, there comes a point when we humans begin to take things out of context, instead of leaving it just as it is so.
What is meant by that is yes, God’s original design for marriage He firmly established when creating Adam, then Eve. And at that point, it became His Law set into place for mankind to obey; that no human is to go outside of or drift away from by attempting to establish their own selfish laws, rules, or mandates for anything or for purposes other than what God laid down His Law for.
There also comes a point where we humans begin to get beside ourselves or outside of our boundaries as mankind, thinking we know more than what we actually are in knowledge thereof, attempting to automatically move our ranks up in power and authority either right alongside the Most High or kicking God from His throne and taking it over, as we see fit.
When instead we should be focusing on staying in our place and doing just as humans were created to do. Just because Adam and Eve sinned, that didn’t change God’s mind or plans regarding His established Law and original design for marriage for mankind, one man and one woman.
Remember, God is unchanging. Now, closely pay attention to what is about to be revealed on how things work. The Bible said God gave David multiple wives, right? Okay, when God laid down His Laws and Commands, who did He lay them down for? Who did he lay them down for to obey? Mankind or humans answers both of those questions.
He certainly didn’t make Laws and Commands for Himself to obey because God doesn’t need order, being that He is the Order Enforcer, just as He arranged in perfect order the configurations and elements of this earth, ordering that water not overstep it’s boundaries out of the need to respect land and its territorial surrounding areas.
GOD GAVE David what God had every right to give if He was so shall pleased to do so. It DOESN’T GIVE US humans God’s authority to rule the same as if we were He, act upon specificities the same as if we were He, distribute, command, control matters, or arrange orders the same as if we were He, and it certainly doesn’t give us His power over and authority to overrule what He’s already made Law, established, and set in stone for mankind to abide by.
It also doesn’t give us the “so can we” power and authority to make our own Laws as we see fit because God did it or did something in the Bible. We don’t understand everything God does and/or why He does certain things. Neither should we spend time of a lifetime racking our brains trying to figure out or search out matters we don’t understand or can’t find reasoning suitable for us humans to make sense out of.
He has His reasoning for all that He does, and we aren’t deserving of nor entitled to be in the know of everything God decides to do and/or why He makes such decisions. His decisions will always remain for the good, always be done in righteousness, and always be done in sound justification, always in fairness with evenly measured and balanced scales.
God’s doesn’t take, accept, or obey any rules, laws, or commands from the likes of mankind. He doesn’t worship humans, humans were created to worship Him.
Therefore, we need to keep focus on being careful to stay in our place as humans by keeping the faith, trusting in Him concerning the things we will probably never understand, and keeping hope alive for an everlasting promising futures filled with His riches that no man can compete with.
Your comments on marriage equality are hateful. You have gravely misunderstood the gentle loving message of Jesus. I will pray for you.
Hi Mary,
I wonder which part of what I said are hateful. Is it what I said about marriage being a permanent union between one man and one woman?
I know that this is where many people, including those who claim to be followers of Christ, have a problem with. But if we are to be honest and truthful to what Jesus taught regarding marriage, there should be no disagreements.
Jesus was the most loving person who ever walked the earth and it’s because of His great love that He gave His own life so that we might have eternal life. It’s also out of love that He rebuked even the disciples closest to Him whenever they were in error.
If you have a problem with what I said, I encourage you to prayerfully read the Scriptures I quoted.
God bless you.
I’ll tell you one thing that Jesus never told me, was how expensive the wedding was gonna be! He should banish the wedding suppliers to hell for charging the prices that they do.
Jesus Christ, I’m never getting divorced cos I couldn’t afford another wedding!
Your wife has a “divorce-proof” marriage for life! Have you checked, perhaps your wife is a co-owner of the wedding suppliers that you hired. Just kidding ?!
Laughter is always welcome in a relationship, much more in marriage. It binds the couple with God’s wonderful blessing of joy. After all, a cheerful heart is a good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
God bless your marriage.
Hi Alice! The way you organize your thoughts on any certain topic is appreciably enlightening to your readers.
I am honestly not in favor of divorce in marriage. The bible says divorce is allowed under extreme cases specifically because of sexual immorality. However, the bible also says that God who is the author of marriage hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
I would just like to know your opinion in the context of Matthew 19:9. Can it be considered biblical for the person committing sexual immorality to divorce his wife?
Hello brother Jess,
I believe we’re on the same page in as far as divorce is concerned. Yes, Jesus said in Matthew 19:9 that divorce is permitted only in cases where there is marital unfaithfulness on either parties. Hold it right there! No, actually it wasn’t Jesus or God the Father who allowed divorce. If we read in context what Jesus said, it was Moses who permitted it. Why? The answer is very clear. It’s because of the hardness of man’s heart.
Divorce was never part of God’s original design for marriage. Sadly, many Christians use this verse to justify their actions.
By the way, I have an article that talks about the topic of divorce and remarriage more extensively. Here’s the link if you want to check it out:
https://biblical-christianity.com/what-is-the-biblical-view-of-divorce-and-remarriage
It saddens me that marriage has become so politicized. I know that many unions were formed to create power structures. Marriage was not always about love and raising a family. However, I do love what Christianity teaches about marriage.
Yeah, sad but true. Politicians nowadays will resort to anything in order to gain advantage over their rivals, including restructuring marriage or redefining it in a way that goes against what marriage really is in its original design. But no matter what some liberals or modernists may say, marriage as established by God is between one man and one woman only and it was meant to be a permanent union.
I agree fully with this wonderful article, but the comment that politicians redefine marriage to gain over their rivals is not completely correct. There is a globalist agenda of depopulation based on Satan’s worship. So our enemy Satan dictates the financial elite on the top of the pyramid to push his agenda.
Hi Albina,
Yeah, I’m not sure why some people think that. Nevertheless, I find it appalling that marriage as God originally designed has been completely corrupted by the “woke” liberals. It’s just sad.
But you mentioned the globalist agenda; do you think this global pandemic was part of it?