Motherhood is both a privilege and a blessing from God. Unfortunately, not every woman gets to receive this blessing for various reasons that only God knows.

Even women who are faithful followers of Christ are not exempt from this reality. We hear a lot of Christian couples testify that they fasted and prayed for many years to get pregnant. Yet, God did not grant them their hearts’ desires. This often leads us to doubt God.

Come to think of it; there are a lot of women out there who seem to conceive easily. But in the end, they chose to get rid of their baby through the sin of abortion. Why won’t God just give that privilege to women who badly want to have children?

Receiving God’s Gift of Motherhood

If you are a regular visitor to this website, you must have noticed that I stopped publishing new articles on March 10, 2023. This is because I am not able to juggle between taking care of my newborn son and managing this site.

Since the arrival of my baby on March 13, 2023, I had to either pause or cancel all scheduled activities. Yes, I received the gift of motherhood after so many years of praying and waiting. Being a mom for the first time is such a joy that I can never compare it with anything else.

I remember being asked all the time when I am going to have a baby during the first 5 years of my marriage. After that, I guess, people got fed up asking. But it’s easy to guess what’s on their mind when they see me and my husband together without kids. It’s tough when people question why you don’t have children after being married for many years.

Receiving the gift of motherhood for the first time after 16 years of marriage is something I never expected to happen. But I am serving a big God who can do even the impossible.

I suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy in July 2007, but I never stopped trusting God. Looking back, I should have had a 15-year-old kid by now. Nonetheless, I don’t want to live in the past. I believe that God knows what’s best for me and will always have my best interest at heart.

Children are a Gift from God

I often read and hear stories of women who very much want to have children but are unable to conceive. What I find interesting is that some of these couples do not have any infertility issues. In other words, their doctor does not see any problem with their reproductive system.

Yet, they fail to get pregnant after many years of trying. The doctor then gives them several options such as IVF, surrogacy, or adoption. The first two are quite costly while the third one could take some time because of the paper works, screening/home study, and other requirements.

Did I ever doubt that I will become a mother? I won’t deny it! There have been times when I told myself, “Perhaps, motherhood is not for you. You just must accept that!”

I am sure many women can relate to my experience and almost gave up on their dream to become a mom. You can add to that the fact that many people are so insensitive. Do they have to state the obvious that you don’t have children, thus, your marriage is incomplete?

They say that you are not a “family” if you have no kids. Some even go as far as to say that barren women are cursed.

Children are, indeed, a gift or heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). But it does not mean a woman who cannot have children is cursed. We may never understand why God closed the womb of some women. But we can trust God because He loves us so much that He cares about our happiness.

God sees the desires of our hearts but more importantly, He knows exactly what we need.

IVF, Surrogacy, and Adoption

I mentioned earlier these three options for couples who have difficulty conceiving. Adoption is generally acceptable, but I cannot say the same for IVF and surrogacy, especially for the latter. Let’s face it; there are countries where surrogacy is not allowed, particularly outside of the West.

What does the Bible say about women who opt to preserve some of their viable eggs while they are young and healthy? They do this so that whenever they are ready to have kids, they can just get them fertilized. What about surrogacy where somebody else carries to full term and delivers the offspring of a couple? Are we playing God by doing this?

I must admit, I have thought of IVF and surrogacy as an option for me and my husband. IVF is more affordable, but it would still cost money and there is also no guarantee that the first implant would be successful. This means one must be ready to spend money and go through the procedure several times.

Surrogacy, on the other hand, could cost up to a million pesos (Philippines Peso) or even more. This is because, most probably, they will not do the procedure here but overseas. Also, the couple should make sure their surrogate stays healthy throughout her pregnancy. It means they must pay for everything the surrogate needs and has to pay her a large sum of money for her “service.”

The Joy of Motherhood

Since the arrival of our son Zander in March, things have been different for me and my husband, in a hasty manner, of course. We now see things from a different perspective because, in every plan we make, we have to include our son.

It has been only the two of us for the last 15 years but now, it’s about our son and his future. Of course, we entrust him to the Lord because God knows what is best for our family.

Zander did give me the joy of motherhood that I have been longing for. I love him so much that I put my interests aside just so I can take care of him. Now, more than ever, I understand the kind of sacrifice mothers make for the sake of their children.

We often hear people say, “Enjoy your kids while they are young. Spend quality time with them now because the time will come when they would want to be on their own.”

This is exactly what I am doing now. I don’t mind putting aside everything else for Zander’s sake, especially now that he is completely dependent on me. I know that as he grows older and needs less attention, I could resume my pending activities.

Final Words

To the women who are still waiting for God’s blessing of motherhood, do not ever lose hope. If God did it for me, He could do it to you too. You need to keep believing that, “With God, nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37).

Maybe, you’re waiting for many years already. Do not ever lose hope because we serve a God of the impossible. Our God is a miracle-working God who loves us so much that He desires our happiness. Trust God and let Him work things out for you.

Do I recommend adoption, IVF, or surrogacy? Since the Bible does not specifically say anything against these options, I also choose to be silent. All I can say is, you must pray about it. Go to God and seek His will for you.

If God is leading you to adopt, go for it. Should you undergo IVF or surrogacy? If God favors any of these procedures for you, He will make things smooth and stress-free.

For readers who would like to share their thoughts and/or experience regarding this matter, please use the comment section below.

God bless!

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Recommended Resource:

Infertility – Finding God’s Peace in the Journey by Lois Flowers

Foreword by Dr. Gary Oliver, nationally known counselor, Bible teacher, and director of the Center for Marriage and Family Studies.

One in ten Americans of childbearing age has fertility problems. From her own experience, Lois Flowers understands the struggle and anguish these readers go through, and she gently points out some strategies that will help bring true peace and joy in the midst of the disappointment:

• Making biblically informed decisions about medical treatments lays the groundwork for future contentment.
• Working out practical ways to deal with family and friends can make reminders of infertility less painful.
• Praying for God’s will–even in the middle of infertility–brings great peace and freedom in all areas of life and a deeper, more authentic experience of God’s love and compassion.